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life is killing me
Thursday, 17 March 2005

lack of control by 6yearsgone at 10:40 AM PST
Sunday, 13 March 2005
YEA!! ! oh. .. um. .. no.
Mood:  irritated
my back is tired and my throat is dry. kinda sleepy. life is kinda at a slooooooooooooooow pace, has been for awhile. think i'll shut my eyes and drift off... will i return? ?? ??? duh, of course... i was only asleep.


lack of control by 6yearsgone at 11:14 AM PST
Friday, 4 March 2005
board dumb
Mood:  hungry
Now Playing: prince - purple rain
there is no purpose of this post other than i am tired and have nothing better to do.

i'd try to muster up something insightful or thought provoking but the point would be mute.

there is little rest for the wicked and the devil loves idle hands.....
.. ... ... whatever!

i need a good couple days off coupled with a couple of good hard drinking binge.
. ..
.. and an in-n-out burger.
ok.... .

lack of control by 6yearsgone at 5:44 PM PST
Wednesday, 2 March 2005
words 42/43/44
within the creases of my mind...
black /sharp/jagged.. !@1.. .
i learn to lose control

.. ... .. i make the time
.. .. . i make up the lies and break the back of all those who learned to love, though now... .. LOATHE

beauty in blood.slow motion daydream

it swirls and burns then goes cold. ccold as my thoughts and desires... .. am i/am i not? ?? !?#
if i tried again would it prove fruitful?? ??
// // /// or is the pain of it all/all that i chose to be?

pills/drink/crash/splat/gas/rope/belt/stab/slice/choke/break .. . ...
or perhaps a liquid organ cleanser?
i like to lose myself in myself in the music of dark/alone. to miss me is to be me. a longing for something that is undeniably nothing. what is it??? NOTHING! just the spinning of wheels, grinding of gears... the well oiled machine now, again, drying up.


a rhyme with no reason a question with no answer.
... open my chest and take out my heart....
. ... . . the messages say you could borrow my soul.. . i think it ignores me sometimes... or is it that which make me lose all/and give up?


lack of control by 6yearsgone at 11:22 AM PST
Saturday, 26 February 2005
the obviously redundant. . .i think?
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: hawthorne heights - the silence in black and white
is it me?

or do certain people.. for no apparent reason, just PISS you off and irritate the hell out of you. i mean, that is to say... for no reason at all. i just can't seem to get these few people from under my skin... and i try, believe me, i do try. it just seems that the more i try to ignore and suppress the fact i can't stand these people, for no reason, it make me grow even more agitated.

it kills me.
really... it does.

it's not that i haven't confronted these people, sometimes often, however... man! they really just kill me! make my head all jumbled in a bad way and i hate it. i try to focus on myself and my objectives and goal but then BLAM! they they go and with their stupid grins and arrogance.

ahhhh. ..i'd like to say that make me feel better but it only makes me feel worse. kinda like the people i see that i know aren't really there.

hee hee.


lack of control by 6yearsgone at 7:33 PM PST
Thursday, 24 February 2005
ahhhh, yes. those little darlings
Now Playing: zeromancer - clone your lover
well, here's NOTHING so far.
i will be uploading new pictures as i get them scanned... you'll find the link below.. or, in the future... under the personal perspective links to the left.

be prepared to sheild your eyes within the next week!

the many faces of insane

lack of control by 6yearsgone at 8:18 PM PST
sorry to say
Topic: the artist within?
(c'mon c'mon) x2

it's in the way that you move
giving me up in the end
it's like a total loss in control
and you felt...
dead my friend

(c'mon c'mon) x2

it's the shine that's in your eye
like a blanket on the stars
then there nothing left to prove
because your really dead inside

(c'mon c'mon)
it's right now, right now
(c'mon c'mon)
why aren't you breathing
(c'mon c'mon)
i can't bear to
(c'mon c'mon)
then suddenly you stopped

i like the feeling from inside
i can feel it pulling you away
can you hear me from inside
or have you run away
it's like the turning in your mind
and the cloudy pitch black skies
i think i finally know the answers
i'm the one who's dead inside

(c'mon c'mon)
it's right now, right now
(c'mon c'mon)
why aren't you breathing
(c'mon c'mon)
i can't bear to
(c'mon c'mon)
then suddenly you stopped

lack of control by 6yearsgone at 6:33 PM PST
Updated: Friday, 25 February 2005 3:43 PM PST
Thursday, 17 February 2005

Topic: the crap i buy
this week alone:

hp pavilion a735w-b
saw (movie)
future leaders of the world (cd)
kayne west (cd)
red dead revolver (x-box game)
taco bell (5 tacos, 2 steak soft tacos, 1 large pepsi, fiesta potatoes and 1 beef meximelt)
a regular turkey, ranch and swiss minus onions from quiznos
levis signature series - loose fit
pretty in pink (dvd)
the brak show - volume 1 (dvd)
david sunflower seeds
i have drank 8 liters of code red mountian dew

. . .thus far

lack of control by 6yearsgone at 11:19 AM PST
1 weak
in the backwoods of my mind i find myself shallow and alone. i find that it is very dark and the world only bleeds in the color of black and deep shades of crimson, they peek through like the faint glimpse of light through the thickness of a foul fog. within it lies an emotionless emotion. it fills up and swells with overwhelming compassion, yet is never released.... hence, emotionless. swallowing remorse and regret. the pains of a past and knowledge of the future creates a void in the present. a faint puke. the shadows in my eyes. it feels like my eyes wallow in the black. it is dark here... yet, i am not afraid.... and yet, i am.

lack of control by 6yearsgone at 11:04 AM PST
Saturday, 12 February 2005
how can i sleep at nite
Mood:  don't ask
it's seeping in deeper you know...
the darkness fills in my eyes...
.. . it know it.
my chest pounds deep inside my heart breaks. .
. my skin peels. ripe and in full bloom... .
.. . shall i cry and drown in my fears?
. i can't...
... i won't ...
dream time and i'll go back to when it was forever..
the cold.
the lust.
the moisture.
it's the beginning of all things to end.

it's seeping in deeper you know...
............... .. .. i know .. ...
i think.

lack of control by 6yearsgone at 7:21 PM PST

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