sunday.. .. ahhh, great sunday
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: keane - hopes and fears
so.. .. as sundays go, this one is as slow and lazy as the rest. thats why i am listening to keane... on sundays and any other time i feel like feeling down. i was thinking about it and i realized that i am not that much different than when i was 17/18. i am basically the same person, same ideals.

why am i posting this... ..i dunno, i forgot. the point has been lost. hmmmmm. ... i'll try another topic now.

Topic: the things i love

garbage
shirley is still smoking HOT

.... .... .... .... .... ....
Mood:  rushed
Now Playing: the dryer is drying clothes
a sadness is looming.
someone is passing.
... some fond memories and others not.
to remember the way they were...
........ . ....... . .. or face the way they are.

the thoughts,
they tumble through my mind. .. .
as i wait for clothes to dry... ... .. .

wonderous world of work
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: the postal service - give up
distortion and lies.
betrayal and disgust.

i love it all still though.

glutton for punishment.
it's all ok though... .snow is falling and i... well.. i'm off tomorrow.

if i were to pray.... i'd pray for a swift death.

new skin
Now Playing: depeche mode - sounds of faith and devotion
like a hot knife to butter.
the wound opens to bleed.
refresh.
new skin.
make me whole....
... .. or make me no more.
i fear it gets much worse than this.

in the thoughts,
then they bat their eyes but they won't shut up.
pain to make the pain go away.
i can't cross the line if it's going in circles.

perfect.

Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: slipknot - volume 3: the subliminal verses
Topic: sounds like it was for me
SONG: The Nameless

pathetic (benign)
accept it (undermined)
your opinion (your justification)
happy (State)
servent (hate)
malice (heart of weakness)
no toleration
invade (kill me)
enraged (in minutes)
don't condescend (don't neither disagree)
decide (decay)
dissapoint (delay)
you suffered then, now suffer under me.

obsession, take another look.
remember, every debt you took.
decide, you live with me
or give up - i thought you want to be free

(don't go) i never wanted any body more then i wanted you
(i know) the only thing i ever really loved, was hate.

why do i (feel) anything, (guess)
anyway (fall) anybody (will), anybody (kill me)
i want (you) i need (you) i love (you)
I won't (let any body have you)
Obey (me) believe (me) just trust (me)
Worship (me) uniform (me)
Be greatful (now) be honest (now)
Be precious (now) be mine (deserve me)

Possesion (feed my only faith)
Confession (i wont tell you twice)
Desert (make life for me)
Or give up - I thought you want to be free.

(don't go) I never wanted any body more then you
(i know) the only thing I ever really loved, was hurting you.
(don't go) I never wanted any body more then you
(i know) the only thing I ever really loved, was hate.

(yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhh)
Stay inside the hole, let me take control. (don't let it)
You were nothing more, you were something less (innocent)
Something I still get, something i've to break. (all that's precious)
Fingers on your skin, let me salvage it. (you deserve it)
YOU DESERVE IT.
YOU DESERVE IT.
YOU DESERVE IT.
YOU DESERVE IT.

(don't go) I never wanted any body more then I wanted you (i wanted you)
(i know) the only thing I ever really loved, was hurting you. (was hurting you)
(don't go) I never wanted any body more then I wanted you (i wanted you)
(i know) the only thing I ever really loved, was hate.

You're mine (you are you are)
You're mine (you are you are)
You're mine
YOU'RE MINE

are we there yet? pt. deux
Mood:  flirty
Now Playing: orbital - peel sessions (yes.... again)
well... here comes 2ooo + 5 and still no kisses.
. . .it seems that my luck is far better in odd numbered years.... time will tell.
drinking the day away and it seems that it went on forever.. ...
i will try to make some fun dance music tomorrow...
. . ..i will also try not to eat. .
. . .. ....... .
..
. .
or hate myself... ...
. . .. much.

feeling so sic
Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: washing machine - the rinse cycle
so...
it's been about 3 days with this cold and it seems to worsen at nite, after.. oh, 6 or so. my head is congested and eyes feel like there are going to burst. my joints ache and i feel a bit loopy from all this tylenol flu i've been taken.

DAMN!!!!

bit my lip... . .
you know what sounds good? ??
SLEEP.
lots and lots of sleep.

oh yeah... . .and the cure!
. . . and maybe some german raspberries for my fat ass!

are we there yet?
Mood:  spacey
Now Playing: orbital - the peel sessions
still no snow and it's christmas. .. ..
. .. . . .. .. BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. . . .

only 365 more days till we get to do it all over again.. . maybe next year it'll actually feel like christmas.

2 stiff drinks with jack and i still don't feel festive ... ..
crap. ...
.. .. . damn mistletoe seems to be broken.. .. .
. . .. can't i get a kiss?

maybe in 6 days i'll try again .. .. ..

happy christchaunakawanzamas bitches!

DEADcisions
Now Playing: the faint - wet from birth
got this guy i know...
.. . . he's got this band. ...
never heard them before .. . .. .. . .
.. .. .. . .
i've got this fasination .. ..
. .. one with a crowd .. ... .. . .
seems i'm the center of attention. .. ..
. .. .. .. . .....
..
. .
. . ....
. .
.. .. . .get me a demo .. .. ..
. .. .. . . . record a vocal .. .. .
. . .. send it back. . .. .
.. .
.. ..
.. .
MAGIC

. . .will it happen? ?? ?? ? ? ?? ? ?? ? ?






never.not.without.

its the final countdown
Mood:  blue
Now Playing: depeche mode - black celebration
it snowed for 2 days...
.. .. late last nite and all day today it friggin rained. ...
. .. mostly cold and/or freezing rain. ...
snow has and is melting.
sad day.

i hate myself and want to die.

thank you.

11:45 am
Topic: the artist within?
infinite sadness,
light hits my eyes,
sheltering laughter,
covers thick air in lies,
little left in matter,
little left at all,
teardrops fall and shatter,
echos throughout the halls,
dark blankets silence,
misty air dissolves,
the night bringing comfort,
heeds my desperate calls.

another random post
Mood:  blue
Now Playing: slipknot - vol.3 the subliminal verses
so...
well, it snowed today... . normally this would make me excited, yet. . .it hasn't.
i rather smash things up
my life, my face. . .this damed computer !!

i can't explain it.
i wish i could but i can't... .
it seems the older i get the more i HATE the holidays.
the more i hate myself.

i can feel my blood itching at my skin.

did i mention it snowed?

happy thanksgiving
Mood:  irritated
happy.. .. gobble gobble, awww horseshit!

stupid day. stupid turkey. stupid life.

Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: the cure - staring at the sea (the singles)
Topic: sounds like it was for me
SONG: a night like this

say goodbye on a night like this
if it's the last thing we ever do
you never looked as lost as this
sometimes it doesn't even look like you
it goes dark
it goes darker still
please stay
but I watch you like I'm made of stone
as you walk away

i'm coming to find you if it takes me all night
a witch hunt for another girl
for always and ever is always for you
your trust
the most gorgeously stupid thing I ever cut in the world

say hello on a day like today
say it everytime you move
the way that you look at me now
makes me wish I was you
it goes deep
it goes deeper still
this touch
and the smile and the shake of your head

i'm coming to find you if it takes me all night
can't stand here like this anymore
for always and ever is always for you
i want it to be perfect
like before
i want to change it all

i want to change